


Shooting Through the Red Tape

by JantoJones



Series: Brief Briefings [75]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 12:17:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10616745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JantoJones/pseuds/JantoJones
Summary: Even UNCLE agents can have a problem with bureaucracy.





	

Illya Kuryakin could speak five languages and understand another four. He was conversant with the works of many of the world’s greatest writers, poets, and philosophers. Chemistry was something he could understand and utilise, especially where it came to explosives, and he was well up on the basics of quantum mechanics. He was even beginning to get a grasp on all the ridiculous idioms which Napoleon liked to annoy him with. What Illya was having difficulty with, however, were the new security arrangements for the U.N.C.L.E. armoury.

Glancing at Napoleon, and then at Mr Waverly, he could see they were just as confused as he was. Barnaby Higgs, the chief armourer, didn’t appear to notice that he’d lost his audience, and continued to drone on about his system. The Old Man allowed him to go on for a further ten minutes before asking him to stop.

“What was wrong with the old system?” Solo asked. “All we had to do was say what we needed and then sign for it.”

“That was the problem,” Higgs explained. “We couldn’t be certain the name matched the person taking the equipment.”

“Are you seriously suggesting that my agents would claim to be someone else?”

Illya almost stated that claiming to be someone else was often a large part of their job, but managed to catch himself.

“It has been known, Sir,” Higgs replied, shooting a look at Solo. “Agents have to account for everything and some trigger-happy agents occasionally attempt to hide just how much ammo they’re getting through.”

Illya raised a quizzical eyebrow at his partner. He’d spent a good twenty minutes arguing with Higgs over his ammunition usage only last month.

“I can see the need for change, Mr Higgs,” Waverly interjected. “But, don’t you think your new idea is maybe a touch convoluted.”

“No Sir. Let me explain it again.”

“Succinctly,” Illya said, in a tone which sent a chill through Higgs.

“It’s simple,” Higgs began. “Firstly, an agent will sign into the armoury using the new signing in sheets, and then requests a requisition form. We are making these orange for ease of identification. He, or indeed she, fills in the form by stating what they require, the amount of each item and the reason for the requisition. They also ensure that their name is written clearly and the date and time are entered correctly. Upon receipt of each item, the agent will initial against said item on their requisition form, as well as signing a goods received form. Once the required items have been handed over, the agent will sign a final acknowledgement that they have what they came for. They will then sign out of the armoury.”

“There are times when agents need to get to places quickly with extra armaments,” Waverly informed him. “Having them waiting in line and filling out excessive forms will be counter-productive. Surely there is a more useable solution. Is there no way you can simplify it all?” 

“Why not just install a badge scanner,” suggested Illya. “The armourer enters what the agent wants into the computer system, and then the agent scans his or her badge.”

“Will that work?” Waverly asked Higgs.

“Yes,” the man replied, failing to hide his annoyance at Illya’s idea. “I’ll get to work on it immediately.”

“Thank you, Mr Kuryakin,” Mr Waverly said, after Higgs left the office. “I’m certain he just wants to prevent anyone from getting hold of his precious stock. Now, let’s get to some real work.”


End file.
